| define blessing. |
[Dec. 18th, 2008|07:51 pm] |
I honestly have mixed opinions about who is "up there" watching, but its events like those that occurred yesterday that reassure me there is someone "up there" in the first place.
So, as you may or may not know, I broke up with James, the love of my life at the time, June 28 2008. Since then, I have been trying to live life the way a man would as far as relationships go, just because i didn't want to let myself become vulnerable ever again, it seemed.
As you saw, I almost did with "john", he wooed me but never came through. Whether he was "real" or not, I'll never know. Either way, I will send him warm wishes on Christmas and New Year's Eve.
In search for this temporary happiness, I have joined dating sites much like the one I met James on, hoping that I might get lucky the same way once again.
I dont want to jinx anything, but I met a wonderful man last night. His name is Jeff--yes I have realized I only really date men whose names start with J--and he shares my views on all the important things we've discussed thus far.
He's sweet, sensitive, manly, in love with his cat which I love, funny, and incredibly sexy to me. He's been the only one that touches me because he wants to, as in I can be laying down and he just leans over and gives me kisses on my shoulders and fingertips.
Don't get me wrong its only been one date. But I think, I hope things will continue the path that they are on right now.
Let me just recap what happened yesterday, not so much for you but more for me; it was the best date i've ever been on, almost right out of the movies.
So, after the committee meeting for GI (Gainesville Independent), I rushed to get Jackie to her car, get home, shower, and get ready. The poor guy had been waiting at least an hour for me. So I get home shower, and text him that I'm ready. He tells me that he's by the pool and leasing office, so I walk out there to make sure he was at the right "phase", and he wasn't there, so I told him I'd stand in the middle of the street (27th) so that there'd be no more confusion. Needless to say, he found me and as I sat down in his Saturn Vue, the first things I noticed were his handsome face and charming smile; I couldn't help but to smile, big.
We tossed back forth some jokes about his lack of sense of direction as we headed over to Jackie's, which originally i was going to get ready at her house and have him pick me up but I thought to myself "even I get lost sometimes in there, there is no way I'll be able to lead him there correctly and efficiently." So, I just needed to get my atm card and put on some deodorant ( how embarrassing if I didn't), and I wasn't expecting him to get down with me. Poor unsuspecting Jackie lol; I had no idea either though, I was just hoping she wasn't in her jammies. Looking quite fabulous if I can say so, with my "halter?" (tie at the neck) top, my cache jeans, and black patent leather heels, we headed towards dinner.
We then decided on a whim to go to Carraba's, which I thought was perfect because I love Italian and I had been wanting to go there for quite some time. There was no wait, and we sat in a quaint booth for two near the back. We sit, and immediately the waiter cracks me up with his speedy low speak; I thought I spoke low. He explained his new fascination with one malt whiskeys while I sipped on my pink lemonade. We had calamari as an appetizer and he had the trout and I had the sirloin marsala. All very good. We discussed his recent horrible dates, and of course Obama and then his college career. offered to pay for myself, but he smiled and said, no i have no problem paying for you.
After he paid, and put his invisalign back in lol, we decided that the night was still young and that we didn't want to end it just yet. He told me of this place by the hospital on Newberry where there were christmas lights and a lake, I agreed that we should go there. I have to admit it was beautiful, peaceful, and romantic in the cheesiest ways, but I was loving every second of it. I nearly ate it a million times because I was wearing heels and trying to walk on the molch and damp ground. But he was there lending his hand when i needed it.
Finally, we found a nice little bench and we sat and talked some more. He loves to talk I love to listen, it works out. We talked about why were on okcupid, our hobbies, and drugs lol. I have no idea how long we talked for but it was a long time, then he goes "so do you wanna makeout a bit?", I was almost taken aback because i had been licking my lips the entire time lol, i said "yes, I would like that very much". And so made-out we did, meanwhile the christmas music was playing in the background. Classic. By the way, the decorations (lit up reindeer and santas and snowflakes) were synchronized to the music and there were some angry ducks in the lake. I was so happy to find out he was a great kisser. Passionate, equal balance of tongue vs no tongue, hand placement.. all very very good. I think we only stopped because there were children passing by and i had to go to the bathroom. He smelled really good, it smelled familiar I wanna say it was abercrombie or hollister, whatever it was it was entrancing. So we left hand in hand back to the car to find me a restroom. lol
He stopped at the kangaroo by my apartment, because he thought it'd make more sense to hang out at my place since he was the one driving. However, I knew that my place was no where near clean enough to have company over, and he's kinda-not-really a neat freak. So, I suggested we go back to his place instead. He lives near tutoring zone area I believe, I dunno i was kinda staring at him the entire time playing with his hair and such. After I almost ate it again in the darkness on the way to his doorstep, he says that he just broke the key in the door, so he had to wake up his roommate. I felt so bad. We stepped inside, and I removed my loud heels due to the wood floors. I quickly met Nilla,I believe it was his roommates dog, she was so cute and immediately came and said hello to me. Shortly after, Oliver the cat came to find out what the heck i was and what i was doing touching his owner. lol. He was a nice cat thank goodness, a little jealous but not aggresive with me. We began to watch Charlie Wilson's War, a movie that came up during conversation at the lake i believe.
I tried to get into it.. but we were being quiet because his roommate was sleeping, so the history based movie quickly became just a slideshow to me, but i "watched" for him. He cuddled with me, holding me tight to him hand in hand on the couch. I leaned over and kissed him, and it quickly evolved. He's like " I love history, but this movie just became a lot less interesting." I silently agreed, as he took me by the hand and led me to his bed.
I felt confident and safe, I knew that he'd respect my wishes, and we had both agreed that before meeting we had decided that we didn't want to have sex on the first date. Later we found out for this to still be true, but I am not going to lie, the temptation was intense for the both of us. For the record, his bed is incredibly comfortable. Oliver soon joined us, I pet him and gave him some loving as well; scratching his face and back. As he kissed me (sigh lol) on my neck and down my chest, it was difficult to limit us to just that--no oral for the first date either--but i knew i had to, he said "smart girl" and I silently agreed and kissed him once more. We laid in each others arms for a while smiling and kissing, it was to me pure bliss. We then decided to put a time limit on this kissing only due to the fact that it was in our best interest for me not to stay the night, even if we just slept together without any sex. We wanted to take it slow, because we really liked each other I am assuming--it was only inferred. After a few "five more minutes", we got up and got in the car once more.
The entire drive home, just felt so nice. He likes that i give him lots of kisses, and touch his constantly; playing with his hair, massaging his arms, caressing his hands. I was savoring every minute because of course i knew it would soon come to an end.
We had a long kiss goodbye, and i was off with a smile.
I went inside, got undressed, laid down, turned on the tv for something to watch at 230 am. lol apparently I fell asleep quite quickly, because i awoke with the tv still on around 8am.
I turned it off, snuggled with my pillow for the first time in a long time, and went back to sleep.
:)
Found out later, he's not the communicative type, which is totally fine, just gotta adjust.
<3 Suzy
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